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Just stay away from oil-based lube and products, which can break down latex condoms and make them less effective.
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A silicone-based lube might work best, since it keeps you lubricated longer than a water-based lube, says Kerner. Kort suggests The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman, Ph.D, and Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women and Couples by Jack Morin, Ph.D.Īlways use a condom and a lot of lube. There are also some books that can really help you understand and enjoy anal play. If you get too overwhelmed, take a break and take some deep breaths until you're ready to try again. Make sure you're really relaxed, breathing deeply, and in a situation where you won't be disturbed. And also: Remember to pay attention to your own pain threshold, and if it really hurts or you start to bleed, stop. You might want to try self penetrating with a dildo, vibrator, or butt plug, too - just make sure that if you're using a toy, it's specifically intended for anal penetration, and has a flared or wide-tapered end sex-toys created for vaginas or other objects not specifically made for this purpose can get stuck or lost inside you, which can be painful, humiliating, and potentially very dangerous when trying to retrieve it. And definitely use lube to make things smoother and more comfortable. Start with one finger, then work your way up to two or three. When you're in the shower or in bed, insert your fingers slowly to see what feels good, says Kort. Getting comfortable with anal penetration solo can make the experience a lot more pleasurable when you eventually do it with a partner.